I hope when you die you get to see your stats like how many times you laughed or told a lie or kissed or how many people loved you and how many people hated you and what you meant to people
Author John Scalzi was on a roll this morning (currently 7:14 AM, 26 Sept. 2014) with a tweet he found from some guy sending out an “ultimatum” to women to “make a choice” between feminism and, well, men like him. So Scalzi launched into a truly magnificent set of scorchers, which I’m posting here for the delectation of people everywhere.
Also: I would like to thank that guy for setting the ultimatum. It makes finding a boyfriend so much easier when the undesirable ones wear a placard identifying themselves.
"The tragedy of that poor boy’s life is not the realization that he’s not the grand prize he’s assumed, but that he’s not even second place."
this is another part where i just lost my shit completely.
ok no im not done with this.
just the fact that Merlin can just WALK UNANNOUNCED INTO THE KING’S FUCKING CHAMBERS WHENEVER HE WELL PLEASES
just the fact that ARTHUR IS THE FUCKING KING AND HE CAN DO WHAT HE LIKES BUT HE STILL HIDES THINGS FROM MERLIN SO MERLIN WON’T WORRY OR NAG
just the fact that MERLIN CAN NAG THE KING
i mean like omg this movement is so urgent like SHIT IT’S MERLIN OMG HIDE THE HORN OMG
and it’s like
YOU’RE THE KING, ARTHUR.And such a good strategy too.
I’m still laughing over the fact that he threw all these apples onto the floor and Merlin’s like “What seriously” and Arthur’s like “CLEAN THIS UP BUT DON’T USE THE BOWL”